Dear Negative Ego [victim consciousness]

Well, this letter is long overdue but I just got to say this to you. You are silly to think that you can make me think I am a victim when I was on vacation. With my daughter falling ill and me lacking sleep as well as jet lag and having to take time to recover from exhaustion, you kept on trying to make me think that I am a victim in this whole situation. And that having spent time and money for a vacation that did not reward me with the rest I was looking forward to, you told me -- what's the point? For I am even more tired than before vacation, and you kept on wanting to me make me feel like a victim.

The truth is, yes, I am even more tired than before vacation but I am not a victim. I have chosen to see this as an opportunity to refine how I am using my time. In fact, because of this, I have come up with a more efficient and productive plan to have good and restful off days, and to take mini-vacations during my working week. I am so happy and excited about my new plan because not only am I getting the support from my family to do this, I will also become more productive!

So negative ego, you can try but you will never have the upper hand in this!

Dear Negative Ego re: {Patience}

Last week I was tested on how much patience I had when dealing with the administration staff of a Children's Gymnastics school.

I was merely trying to book for a trial class for my daughter for Sat. And so the Monday before that I called the number given. The man who picked up said he would call me back in the afternoon when he had access to the computer. I was fine with that.

No phone call. Wednesday comes, I decided to call again. This time a lady picked up the phone and she tells me that she is not an admin staff and so cannot access the system but said she will leave a message for someone to call me back the next day.

Thursday comes. No phone call. So I called them in the afternoon and spoke to the same man who had no memory of us speaking on Monday and he said he would call me back when he had access to the system. Immediately I stopped him from hanging up by saying, "I will call you tomorrow if you give me a time". He hesitated and said "maybe it is better if I will call you", but I insisted and said, "no it is better I call you, give me a time". So he said to call him at 11am the next day and he was very polite about it.

[Reader, are you running out of patience yet reading this? lol!]

So Friday 11am comes. I call him. No answer. I try again in a few minutes, I got an engaged tone.

By this time, you negative ego was soooo ready to jump into the party! In that split second, you ran a judgmental thought through my mind, "What kind of a business are they running? This is Singapore, and not some third world country!" (no offense to people living in these countries, negative ego was really going for it!)

Immediately, I seized your negative ego thought as if I could literally grasp it by its neck and threw it out! And said to you, "Oh no, you don't. Not now! I've been practicing enough patience so far and I am not going to let you stop me from remaining even minded. Out you go!"

So I made that phone call again at 11.30am, the man answered, got the information I needed and got my daughter registered for Saturday.

[Sasha has since attended the trail class and loved it and will continue to do the class for the entire term. Thank you God for the lesson on patience!]

Bye negative ego.....

Dear Negative Ego re: [Change]

I recently changed my exercise regime as my body has gotten used to the old regime and so I have plateaued. The new regime is of a higher intensity and I do feel much better for it, and also increased stamina, and mental clarity.

You, negative ego, I can hear you chattering away in the background saying I won't be able to keep up with it and that I will give up because I am not able to maintain it in the long term. I want you to know that I have taken everything into consideration such as schedule, amount of time, fitness, value of the new regime and it is reaping the rewards I am looking for with a smaller amount of time put in. So don't try to steer me off course. I am on it and intend to be on it for the long term. Cheers to good health and bye to you negative ego!

Dear Negative ego re: [illusion of lack of time and the illusion of death]

I was planning to use this time before Christmas to catch up on paper work and emails, but grandma passed on yesterday. You tried to instill energies of stress by saying there's no time to do anything! When am I ever going to have time? I breathed your words out....

And listened to my own still voice within and know that this is just a glitch in time. With proper planning, all will work out well. Some things will have to wait as well. So here I am writing this blog and after which I will spend 15 minutes planning my time for the next few days and also to fulfill my commitment to my 4 year old that Christmas will be wonderful despite all that is going on.

So negative ego I know this is your big chance to jump into everything that is happening. But I promise you that I will be extra vigilant!

Dear Negative ego re: [judgments]

You said all kinds of things while I was standing at the podium waiting for people to turn up for the talk. You said they were rude, disrespectful and lack common courtesy, and you said these not in observation but with a certain level of spitefulness. I let your words slip by, making sure I was not energising them just focusing on my breathing and connecting with the Divine and why I was there in the first place.

I was invited to give a lunch time talk at a big local corporation and it was due to begin at noon. When noon came along, only 3 turned up. I asked how many were going to be present, they said 30. By 12.10, I told the organizer that I would start in 2 minutes. She said, it is best to wait till 1/2 the numbers have turned up, so I asked firmly and calmly, what time will that be? She was uncomfortable that I was making a firm stand and so she said, can we wait till 12.15? I agreed. The talk was uneventful as most of the participants were not engaging and many seemed to there only for the food! But credit must be given to the handful who were upbeat throughout. I did my part and left.

After the talk, you wanted me to compare my time with other big corporations and how much more polite, organized and graceful they were. But I told you to stop! Negative ego I can see how you would try to sway me in your direction, but I will remain firm and do my part to connect with God in all of life's situations. Be gone!

Dear Negative ego re: [care of the physical body]

It is always the same pattern you try to instill in my consciousness whenever I return home away from a weekend of workshops. You try to instill thoughts that I should get on with work the moment I return as there is a backlog of work to catch up on. But I know better, it is important for me to keep the physical body balanced with proper rest. I am not playing into your game of guilt, I focus on what I need to do to remain balance.

The interesting thing is, when I am balanced physically, I find that I do in fact have the time to finish what I plan to do at a much quicker pace! So negative ego, you are not winning at this!

Dear Negative Ego re: {household chores}

I saw how you tried to come into my mind when I woke up early yesterday morning with the aim to re-decorate the living room. I felt that the current setting in the living room was not allowing the energies to flow effectively. So I started thinking of a better layout plan. You tried to stop me by saying that re-decorating is going to be disruptive for everyone and that it was not worth doing it, you just wanted me to procrastinate.

I continued on with the plan in mind and gently told my daughter that all her toys will be moved, and she accepted it without putting up a fight. You negative ego then tried again to instill negative thoughts by saying that it will take up far too much time and energy to do this. But I ignored you.

Eventually it took less than 2 hours for me and my family to move the furniture around the entire living, cleaned up the dusty corners, packed the toys into a large wicker 'treasure chest' and immediately the entire room looked much brighter and bigger! The energies were immediately renewed and flowing much more effective. I am so glad to have put in the 2 hours even though we were going to have a pretty busy day.

We now have a much nicer family room to enjoy. No thanks to you negative ego.

Dear Lower Destroyer re: {organisation of time}

I know you are from the negative ego thought system. And you tried to shake me up yesterday by attempting to destroy my organization and time. I was on schedule to get things done yesterday but you told me it is ok to break at that time to do other things because I deserve the break because I worked so hard over the weekend in Hong Kong.

I know I deserve the break, I have already planned a constructive day with time for rest, relaxation and work. So don't try to disrupt my time table and allow procrastination to take over me. Yes the tasks at hand may be mundane but they are necessary to get done. I kept my focus on service to God and ultimately, they were not as mundane.

I was glad I used your Higher brother, called the Higher Destroyer whose energy is like Archangel Michael or Lord Shiva, to destroy the thought of procrastination and delay. I felt powerful after destroying all the negative energies that tried to throw me off.

I completed all that I set out to do and more! I even had a really nice relaxing time reading. So lower Destroyer you can try, but your Higher brother is the one I choose to work with. For he is a part of God.