Dear Negative Ego re: more busy-ness

And so the busy-ness has not stopped, in fact things have increased in tempo in the last 10 days. Because of the untimely move of the office together with the pre-planned (more than 6 months ago) vacation which we are about to take tomorrow, it is now a tsunami of things to do! LOL! And boy, do I see you sneaking in with every opportunity to introduce thoughts and feelings of stress. I am putting out the fires now, but since today is the day where everything it coming together before I go, I know you will be there trying to steer me away from course.

In adjusting budgets for the move and renovation of the new office, I know you will try to sneak in thoughts of lack and say we don't have enough even when we do. So don't even try.

In managing contractors while I am away on vacation, I know you will try to sneak in to say they will do things wrongly if I am not here to supervise them. Well, I am going to have a last meeting with the contractor today and have an easy plan to work with them and I trust the contractor, so negative ego your attempts will be futile.

In managing people who want their sessions yesterday, I just have to explain the situation and hope they will understand. Negative ego, I know you will try to pull me off centre with this one. But I am staying rooted here, I am not going to go buy into your game. I always do my best ad even if situations are beyond my control, I am leaving it in the hands of God.

Negative ego, I know you've been trying to stop me from going on this vacation by saying that when I come back there's going to be more work, so is it worth going? You also say I should bring my laptop to try to sneak in some work because my email inbox is going to be overloaded by the time I get back. But I am not going to give in to you. If it is overloaded, so be it. I will just deal with one thing at a time and prioritise my time, things that are not urgent can always wait because I am going on my vacation whether you like it or not! :)

Dear Negative Ego re: [parenting]

We went for a Parents-Teacher Meeting and we were discussing some of the little projects the children were doing at school. And one of them was a cooking project. The teacher told me that the kids made fried rice with salmon and they had a good time. And she said in a laughing manner, "And I'm sorry, I know Sasha is a vegetarian but I gave her some salmon to try...." laughter.

You wanted me to jump in and make a fuss about it, but I simply breathe it out and said, "Did she like it?"

When we left the meeting, I was thinking and weighing the options of what is best for our daughter. The method of education is what we like in this day care as it has an emphasis on self expression, creativity, life skills and so on.

However, you negative ego wanted me to feel that our vegetarian lifestyle was unsupported by the school. I made it clear to you negative ego, that this is to be expected in a world of largely meat eaters where there is still a lack of education of health, sustainable living and the practice of compassion towards other living creatures. I am just going to continue to educate our daughter in the best way I know how and at the same time acknowledge that I cannot shelter her from the world forever. I will do my best and trust in my own abilities to raise my child with our spiritual/moral/ethical values in this world we live in.

Dear Negative ego re: [illusion of lack of time and the illusion of death]

I was planning to use this time before Christmas to catch up on paper work and emails, but grandma passed on yesterday. You tried to instill energies of stress by saying there's no time to do anything! When am I ever going to have time? I breathed your words out....

And listened to my own still voice within and know that this is just a glitch in time. With proper planning, all will work out well. Some things will have to wait as well. So here I am writing this blog and after which I will spend 15 minutes planning my time for the next few days and also to fulfill my commitment to my 4 year old that Christmas will be wonderful despite all that is going on.

So negative ego I know this is your big chance to jump into everything that is happening. But I promise you that I will be extra vigilant!

Dear Negative ego re: [vigilance]

A friend offered a service which I needed, I agreed to the terms including the fee knowing that he will not be able to deliver his service in integrity, as this has been a pattern of his from the past. Knowing what I know but because I needed the service (and in my mind decided that this was going to be the last time I use his services), I agreed. But I could see you slowly creeping in.

So the day came and true enough, at the last moment, the service was not up to par which caused some inconvenience to me. But I was prepared for it. In anticipation of what might happen, I created a battleplan before hand on how to handle this. I gave him a chance to right it, but he didn't take it. So remaining centred I did what I had to do. Negative ego, you tried to pull me into judgment of him, as well as self blame. But I told you, I am already prepared for this so don't even try to pull me off centre.

I am glad all turned out well for me in the end. And that I took responsibility for what I created for myself.