Dear Negative Ego re: Busy-ness

It has been interesting start to the new year. Lots happening on the work front, and then daughter falling sick with viral fever, and at the same time looking for a new work space as we have to move out by the end of this month. Being so busy meant I spend a lot of my time doing, and in order to integrate my spiritual practices (and Be) amidst the hectic schedule, I have to multi-task more than usual.

You told me that I was not being sincere if I tried to Be in the now by focusing on God's name while doing something else at the same time. But I will not have you run me down. I know that by focusing on God's name amidst the busy-ness it gives me the strength, the energy to do what I have to and at the same time stay attuned to God.

I know this is only temporary, and that things will settle down. So negative ego, be gone for I will rest in the peace of God within my heart.

Dear Negative Ego re: [parenting]

We went for a Parents-Teacher Meeting and we were discussing some of the little projects the children were doing at school. And one of them was a cooking project. The teacher told me that the kids made fried rice with salmon and they had a good time. And she said in a laughing manner, "And I'm sorry, I know Sasha is a vegetarian but I gave her some salmon to try...." laughter.

You wanted me to jump in and make a fuss about it, but I simply breathe it out and said, "Did she like it?"

When we left the meeting, I was thinking and weighing the options of what is best for our daughter. The method of education is what we like in this day care as it has an emphasis on self expression, creativity, life skills and so on.

However, you negative ego wanted me to feel that our vegetarian lifestyle was unsupported by the school. I made it clear to you negative ego, that this is to be expected in a world of largely meat eaters where there is still a lack of education of health, sustainable living and the practice of compassion towards other living creatures. I am just going to continue to educate our daughter in the best way I know how and at the same time acknowledge that I cannot shelter her from the world forever. I will do my best and trust in my own abilities to raise my child with our spiritual/moral/ethical values in this world we live in.

Dear Negative Ego re: [parenting]

I was reading to my young daughter her bed time story last night and you tried hard to get in into your act. My daughter was asking me a question and I answered her patiently, three seconds later, she asked me the same question and I repeated my answer. Five seconds later she asked the same question again. I could see you coming in and wanting me to get into your act. So I breathed in deeply and answered her again. Then she went on to ask me the same question two more times. I let it pass and said, I'm going to continue reading the book and you can ask me your question later. We finished the book and my young daughter forgot about her question.

This incident reminded me of a video I saw (see below) on youtube. Negative ego, I can see how you would love to jump in and introduce your negative thoughts and feelings. But I am not going to play your game. Be gone.

Dear Negative Ego re: [parenting]

My young daughter has been asking me lots of questions about God, heaven and death. Questions such as where was she before she was born? Did we know each other as little girls when we were in heaven with God? How does God look like? If God made everything, then why are houses built by people?

You negative ego tried to look for easy ways out of this by recommending answers that are delusional and untrue. You will try to look for ways to escape these questions. You do not want her to know the truth, neither do you want her to be educated in the right way.

I make my stand clear with you that I will not allow you to interfere in her spiritual education. I will be creative in my age relevant replies to allow her to understand within her scope. I will not allow you to instill impatience even if her questions come at an 'inconvenient' time. You try so hard at times, but please negative ego you are not winning at this, just be gone!

Dear Negative ego re: [health]

Yesterday, while having breakfast at the hotel in Hong Kong someone eating heartily away caught my eye. He was an overweight gentleman eating a plate of full chocolate doughnuts and bacon. You jumped in immediately and said in a judgmental way, it won't be long before he has a heart attack! 

I let your comment slide off and chose not to energize it further. But my mind was also pre-occupied with thinking, what will I say to my daughter if she saw that man eating what he ate, when I just told her that we don't eat these things because it is unhealthy. I remained centred and prepared a reply in my mind on what to say to her (in a non-judgmental way towards anyone) should she ask.

Negative ego, I am not going to allow you to put me in a position of dilemma and I will speak the truth, in a non-judgmental way especially in educating my young child. Bye negative ego, be gone.

Dear Negative Ego re: [parenting]

I saw how you tried to get to my daughter yesterday...she was cranky for the first part of the day. Blaming everything and everyone for everything. So I said to her teasingly while smiling, "Oh you're such a victim, poor little you. Why did you then give your power away?"

Then she said innocently, "No, the power didn't flow out of my hands" So I said, "Good, keep it."

Later she was given a one minute time out for bad behaviour. You, negative ego didn't like it one bit. I saw how you tried to put her in a state of confusion and conflict. And I insisted that she apologised to everyone. And she willingly obliged, "Ok mummy" and was happier afterwards.

It is always good to get you out of the way, negative ego! I know my daughter has not fully grasp the concept of personal power but she is slowly understanding that she has a choice in creating how she feels. So negative ego, I won't let you stay long in our household, be gone!

Dear Negative ego re: [judgments]

I was at the post office and saw an obese boy, not more than 6 years old being fed french fries by his mum.  You came into my mind at the sight of the mother and child, and you said in a judgmental way, Look at that! I said to you, not now please.

As I continue to observe both mother and child, I recognize that most people are not educated enough to know what is appropriate and what is inappropriate to feed themselves and their children. And I put it all down to ignorance. You tried to jump in again, saying the mother needs a crash course on diet and parenting!

I shook my head to clear your negative thoughts and said to you, it is none of my business what she does. She does what she does because it is the only way she knows how.

Be gone negative ego, I am not going to feed you. I am aligned with God consciousness and recognise the essence of God in both the mother and child.

Dear Negative Ego re: {guilt}

The feelings of guilt is something you use a lot to come into the area of parenting. I see it in action in my clients, in other people and I was not surprised when you tried to surface yesterday in my interaction with my daughter.

We were out running errands, and had lunch at the food court. I bought a vegetarian fried rice for her, not knowing that it was going to be slightly spicy. As she began eating it, she said that it was spicy but she insisted on eating it saying that she will drink water at the same time. You tried to move me into guilt. I caught you saying to me, "It is all your fault that she is not able to enjoy her lunch".

Immediately, I laughed at this thought, about how ridiculous it was! You diminished as soon as you surfaced.

My daughter did enjoy her lunch, she said it was delicious.

So negative ego, you can try, but I will never let you get the better of me.

Dear Negative ego re: [children's vulnerability]

I saw how you surfaced in my young child last night. You made her feel powerless and angry. She was very upset that she didn't get what she wanted for dinner when we were out for a meal. And she said defiantly that she was very upset with her daddy because he didn't get her what she wanted. She folded her arms across her chest and said she will not eat it. I know this is your doing, negative ego. You made her feel powerless and you influenced her in thinking that she is justified in feeling upset.

So I told her, "Darling, don't give your power away. Don't get upset over this. Try this delicious noodles and you will like it." She sighed and gave it a try and realised that she likes this noodle and she felt really happy about it.

I know that you will keep on influencing her negative ego, but I will not let this happen for long. I saw how she felt and experienced the fact that she is not as powerless as she thought. She may not be able to grasp the concept in her 4 year old mind, but she felt it last night and the transformation was immediate. I am happy for her.

So this is a warning to you, negative ego, that you can try but you will never succeed in the long term.